Аудиокнига на английском языке, сказка Льюиса Кэрролла «Приключения Алисы в Стране чудес».
Глава третья - The Cheshire Cat & A Mad Tea Party.
Алиса оказалась на кухне, где было не продохнуть от дыма и перца. Там кухарка готовила еду, а поблизости сидела Герцогиня с кричащим младенцем на руках. Вдруг кухарка начала швырять в них посудой. За этим ухмыляясь, наблюдал большой кот. Герцогиня объяснила Алисе, что кот улыбается, потому что он Чеширский Кот. Герцогиня стала напевать визгливому младенцу странную колыбельную. Затем она швырнула свёрток с младенцем Алисе...
Why is your cat smiling?" asked Alice.
"It's a Cheshire cat," said the Duchess, "and that's why."
"I've heard 'Stop grinning like a Cheshire cat'," thought Alice to herself, "but I didn't think there really was such a thing as a Cheshire cat."
Suddenly the cook began to throw every object she could reach at the Duchess. She threw cups, plates, and pots. Although some of the things hit her, the Duchess took no notice. Then the cook turned back to the soup, and the Duchess began to sing a song.
It was difficult to hear the words because the baby was crying so loudly, but what Alice could hear was very silly:
Speak roughly to your little boy,
And beat him when he sneezes:
He only does it to annoy,
Because he knows it teases.
After a few minutes, the Duchess stopped singing and threw the baby to Alice.
"Catch!" she shouted. "You may hold the baby, if you like. I have to go and get ready to see the Queen." She hurried out of the room.
Alice didn't dare stay in the kitchen with the cook. She didn't want the cook to start throwing things at her. So she took the baby outside.
"I'll have to take the baby home with me," thought Alice. "If I leave it here, the cook and the Duchess will kill it."
It was difficult to hold the baby because it was such a funny shape. It moved about all the time, too, and it was making very strange noises.
"Oh, dear!" thought Alice. "What's the matter with it?"
She looked at it carefully for the first time. Its face was changing. Its eyes were getting smaller and its ears were getting bigger.
"Why!" cried Alice, "I think you look more like a pig than a baby. Perhaps you really area pig! What shall I do with a pig when I get home?"
The baby began to move about so wildly that Alice couldn't hold it any more. So she put it on the ground and it ran off into the woods. Alice was rather glad.
Then, to her surprise, she noticed the Cheshire cat again. He was now sitting on a branch of a tree, only a few yards away. He was still smiling.
"Cheshire Puss," she began. "Can you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
"That depends on where you want to get to." said the cat.
"It doesn't matter really," said Alice.
"Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the cat.
"But I must arrive somewhere," added Alice.
"Oh, you'll certainly do that," said the cat, "if you walk long enough."
This was plainly true, but it didn't really help.
Alice tried another question. "What sort of people live around here?" she asked.
The cat pointed to the right. "If you go that way," he said, "you'll come to the Hatter's house. If you go the other way, you'll meet the March Hare. Visit them if you like. They're both mad."
"Oh, I don't want to meet mad people," said Alice.
"You can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
"How do you know I'm mad?" asked Alice.
"You must be mad," said the cat. "Only mad people come here. Are you going to tea with the Queen?" he added.
"She hasn't invited me," said Alice sadly.
"You'll see me there," said the cat. As he spoke, he disappeared.
Alice did not go much further before she came to the March Hare's house. She was sure it was his house because it looked like a hare. It had two tall chimneys which were the same shape as a hare's ears. The roof was made of fur.
"Oh, dear!" thought Alice when she looked at the house. "I hope the March Hare isn't too mad."
There was a long table under a tree in front of the house. The March Hare and the Hatter (Alice knew it was the Hatter because he was wearing a hat.) were sitting at one corner of the table. They were having a tea party. A dormouse sat between them, but he was fast asleep.
When the March Hare and the Hatter saw Alice, who was coming toward them, they shouted, "There's no room at the table! No room!"
"Don't be silly! There's plenty of room," said Alice. She sat down in a large chair at one end of the table.
"What day of the month is it?" asked the Hatter.
Alice thought for a moment. "The fourth."
The Hatter looked at his large pocket watch and said, "Two days wrong! I knew it wasn't right to put butter in the works."
He looked angrily at the March Hare.
"But it was the best butter," replied the March Hare. He took the watch from the Hatter and looked at it sadly. Then, to Alice's surprise, he put it in his cup of tea. He looked at it again.
Alice broke the silence. "What a funny watch!" she said. "It tells the day of the month, but it doesn't tell what time it is!"'
"Why should it?" asked the Hatter. "It's always five o'clock." Alice had an idea. "Is that why there are so many tea things on the table?" she asked.
"Yes," said the Hatter.
"It's always tea time, so we never have a chance to wash the cups and plates."
"The dormouse must tell us a story. Wake up, Dormouse!" cried the other two together. The Hatter poured a little hot tea on his nose, and the dormouse slowly opened his eyes.
"Tell us a story!" said the March Hare.
"And be quick," added the Hatter, "or you'll fall asleep again."
"Once upon a time there were three sisters," began the dormouse, "and they lived at the bottom of a well. The sisters were learning to draw."
The dormouse went on, in a slow, sleepy voice. "They drew everything that begins with M..."
"Why M?" asked Alice.
But the dormouse was asleep again, and although the March Hare and the Hatter hit him quite hard, he wouldn't wake up.
Alice decided to leave. When she turned back for a last look at the house, the Hatter and the March Hare were trying to put the dormouse into the teapot.